explanations
so i was reading my friend, sean’s, blog. just the heading “if you are explaining, you’re losing” made me think about a lot of things. while what i thought of was one of those unrelated applicable subjects, i couldn’t help think of how it was such a double edged sword.
i had the pleasure to have to defend personal thoughts today. not just defend them but have to explain them. its like you read about those people who get fired for their blogs, i guess the same logic applies. your thoughts are just no longer your own. regardless who you are talking to, for whatever reason, your emotions are subject to scrutiny. what you think is yours or even private is public domain. you cannot say, do, or even breathe a certain way without having to justify your actions or your intentions. and in the end all thats generated is a feeling of loss.
the person who questions you doesn’t believe you. you had to explain yourself, you lost. and it doesn’t stop there. you cant help but want to explain yourself. to try and convey exactly what you feel or think, and then you lose even more. its a downward spiral. you just cant win. all we seem to have anymore is explanation.
i guess its to make up for all the times you were the one listening to all the explanations. do you guys just ever think explanations are excuses or lies?
in the end, i take with me the simple and absolute fact, someone is always watching, prepare to explain yourself
I see what you are saying but, I think you are really just reflecting on a bad conversation. Everything you talk about really ends up coming down on particular context of the conversation.
1. Explaining yourself isn’t always bad. If I am having a fruitful conversation where the other person is willing to digest and attempt to understand what I am saying/feeling/thinking I think the explanation would be rewarding. Only if your explanation if falling on def ears or used to harm/insult/belittle you would it lead to loss.
2. Having people question you is another grey issue depending on context. If someone is questioning me to postively influence me or challenge me it is always welcomed. If someone is trying to prove me wrong without first taking consideration for what i have said, well they can go fuck themselves.
3. Even if we can’t control where what we say goes, we can control how we own up to what we say and how others consume it. I generally have unpopular things to say, and people can think less of me for them, or disregard me for them but I own how I feel about that not them. Do I care what they think? Maybe, up to me. Should I take their reaction to my thoughts/words to heart? Agan depends on how I feel about what I said, and who they are in my eyes.
Then again if you add on top of this interpersonal relationships where feelings are at stake you have to wonder why the other person is forcing you to explain yourself. Is it out of interest? Or obstinance. I try not to waste my time worrying about the later, while charishing the prior.
On a side note could you please make the text area for the comment box SMALLER!
this was very situational. i just hate when someone feels they’re vindicated and refuses to take any responsibility in a situation where they are equally at fault.
theres nothing worse than a condescending lecture and someone telling you what you will and will not do or what you did and didnt do regardless of what really happened.
self righteousness for the win.
in case you don’t read it from the comment on willie’s log:
oh is that true???, i’m from the midwest, and i didn’t think of california as a vacation destination, my cousin lives in San Clemente, we were there visiting her. AND for your info, I’ve been out of the country lots ma’am. For instance, BORA BORA, TAHITI, POLAND, SPAIN, SLOVAKIA, oh and did I mention SWITZERLAND? ya, nothing compared to dirty ol california where the smog can be seen from above in the airplane. Midwesterners are world travelers just like anyone else.
Bratt Pitt is from the OZARKS WHICH IS IN SPRINGFIELD…left because he had to, DUH, his work is in Cali making movies, it’s called job relocation. You think he never comes back to his hometown? Don’t kid yourself missy.
Life in not location, life is happiness, happiness is found wherever you want it to be.
Peace Out
STFU off-topic poster.